


Writing's On The Wall

by gubbins



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anidala, But whatever, F/M, Gen, I like it, Obitine, That's Not How The Force Works, and i really like the song, and that's what matters, but i made him that way anyway, i just wanted an angsty one shot, i know ben kenobi probably isn't super angst, not my best work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26246824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gubbins/pseuds/gubbins
Summary: Ben Kenobi watches snapshots of a time long ago.(Post ROTS, Pre ANH)
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & The Force, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Kudos: 21





	Writing's On The Wall

**Author's Note:**

> What I should be doing: working on my WIP 
> 
> What I am doing: self-indulgence/making myself sad. 
> 
> Link to the song included below. Also on iTunes and Spotify (Writing's On The Wall by Sam Smith from Spectre). 
> 
> hope you enjoy!

link to song [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jzDnsjYv9A)

***

_**I’ve been here before** _

_**But I always hit the floor** _

Ben Kenobi ( _Obi-Wan, once, but not anymore_ ) looked up, the sun blinding him. It was the same sun that he’d been studying the last 10 years, the same one that bore down on him out there in the Jundland Wastes. It was the one that watched and listened, as a former Jedi Master became nothing more than a broken shell. 

The man stood, stumbling slightly on the sand. He still hadn’t gotten completely used to the terrain of Tatooine. He was starting to understand ~~**Anakin’s**~~ aversion to this planet. 

Well, the sand at least. 

He surveyed the area, wondering _how in Sith hells_ did he end up out here? Last Ben remembered, he was sitting in his hut, trying to meditate. 

Now, he appeared to be in what looked like Mos Espa. His surroundings looked… unfocused, in a way. Blurry. It was tangible, yes, but not fully _there_. 

This must be the Force’s doing- was it trying to show him something? 

Ben spotted an older looking man with long, dark hair speaking to a Toydarian. The Toydarian, who was blue and weathered-looking, appeared to be agitated. And the man… Ben’s breath left him suddenly. _Qui-Gon_? 

_But how was that possible?_

Ben stepped closer, and someone walked through him. Just… right through him, like he was a ghost of some sort. 

What was the Force doing, putting him here?

He tried to wave someone down, but nobody spared him a glance. When he attempted to talk to people, they didn’t seem to hear him at all. 

_Was this a memory?_

That could explain why he was being passed through by people, and nobody even spared him a glance. As if he was an outsider looking in on a time long past, events playing out just as before. 

It could explain why Qui-Gon was there ( _as painful as it was, seeing him look so alive_ ). Qui-Gon went inside the shop and came out quickly, followed by Padmé ( _oh, Padmé, who had believed in ~~ **Anakin**~~ until the very end, the woman who he would have gladly called sister_) and Jar Jar Binks. 

Suddenly, the scene ( _could he call it that?_ ) changed, and his Master and sister were gone. 

***

**_I’ve spent a lifetime running_ **

**_And I always get away_ **

Ben now stood on sturdier legs and realized he was in a hangar, a hauntingly familiar one. 

He watched from the other side of the hall as Qui-Gon was cut down, and heard his younger self _(if that wasn’t a sight to behold- him, so young, before everything was lost_ ) shout. 

Ben watched as he ( _but not him, not anymore, he could never go back, as this was Obi-Wan in front of him- and Obi-Wan had burned with his brother in the fires of Mustafar, neither one leaving alive_ ) defeated Maul, sending the Sith falling down the hole. Ben smiled a grim, yet hysterical smile ( _he was hysterical, watching these events play out, for who wouldn’t be when watching the ghosts of a time so very long ago move as if they were alive?_ ) as he remembered once thinking Maul was dead. 

He wasn’t. Years later, Maul killed Satine, cutting down another person who meant so much, but he never got a chance to say so… 

***

**_But with you I’m feeling something_ **

**_That makes me want to stay_ **

He was in a starship, he could tell. Ben looked around and saw Satine being held by Tal Merrik, a blaster to her head. 

( _Satine, she had stood so tall in life, a mighty storm, yet she was so petite in his arms, him holding her as her life faded, using her last bit of strength to tell Obi-Wan she loved him_ ) 

He heard Obi-Wan tell her he would’ve left the Jedi Order for her, if only she said the word ( _why did he wait, why didn’t he tell her what he truly meant, why-_ ). And then ~~**Anakin**~~ entered Ben’s vision, and that was what sent him over the edge. 

_Not him, please, don’t make me see him, I can’t go through this, it’s too much-_

Thankfully, he was taken from that scene, leaving his love and his ~~**brother**~~ behind. 

*** 

**~~Anakin.~~ **

**~~Slave.~~ **

**~~Padawan.~~ **

**~~Husband.~~ **

**~~Knight.~~ **

**~~Brother.~~ **

*** 

_**I’m prepared for this** _

_**I never shoot to miss** _

Ben watched Obi-Wan kill Grievous, and remembered being so hopeful that, at last, the war was over. 

Oh, how wrong he was ( _but right at the same time_ ).

*** 

**_But I feel like a storm is coming_ **

**_If I’m gonna make it through the day_ **

He was at the Jedi Temple now. Ben listened to Yoda ( _Yoda, where was he now? Ben was sure he was still out there somewhere, lying in wait, just as Ben was…_ ) telling Obi-Wan not to look at the security footage, as he would only find pain.

And find pain, he did. 

He never lost that, it seemed. There was always _so much **p a i n**_. 

His forever companion, as all the others he ever had… they always left, in the end, leaving him alone. 

*** 

_**Then there’s no more use in running** _

_**This is something I’ve gotta face** _

Ben realized, with great horror, where he was.

Ash, embers, they filled the air ( _and his nightmares_ ) on this hell of a planet. 

Ben stood on a bank of a lava river, and saw Obi-Wan ( _this, this is the moment, when Ben was born and Obi-Wan was lost to the ashes, laid to rest by the burning remains of his brother_ ) cut his opponent apart. 

~~**Anakin**~~ was screaming, the same scream that haunted Ben’s mind, that he sometimes seemingly heard out in the dunes, making him wonder if he had finally lost his mind- 

Then, he heard it, small words that he wished he had heard all those years ago. If he had heard them then, he would have turned and dropped onto the charred ground, reaching out for his lost sibling, his dear ~~**Anakin**~~. 

“ _Help me, Master._ ” 

And oh, how Ben shattered. 

***

**Traitor.  
**

**Sith.**

_**Vader.** _

*** 

**_How do I live? How do I breathe?_ **

**_When you’re not here I’m suffocating_ **

Ben saw himself ( _not Obi-Wan, Ben this time, yes, he recognized that all-to-familiar droop in the shoulders, carrying a weight that he would bear the rest of his years_ ) handing off baby Luke to Owen and Beru, the setting suns casting a crimson glow around them. Luke, who was the child of his brother, the son of his sister, who could be the last hope for them all- 

Who represented the hope that Ben himself had thought lost. 

_Lost, like the rest of them._

_They’re all lost._

_Dead._

**_D e a d._ **

_You are not Obi-Wan, he is dead too. You are a broken shard of a man, destined to walk the dunes and waste away._

***

**_I want to feel love, run through my blood_ **

**_Tell me is this where I give it all up?_ **

Images of his lost life whizzed by him, words vaguely entering his ears, the faces of those he loved passing through his mind. 

Ben wanted them back. 

Ben wanted them to live. 

Ben wanted them to stay, for once. 

*** 

_**For you I have to risk it all** _

_**‘Cause the writing’s on the wall** _

The last thing Ben saw was an event he did not recognize. He stood inside what looked to be a deep gray hallway, though he did not know where. 

His surroundings were even more blurry, not able to make out anything beyond general colors. 

Ben heard mechanical breathing nearing him, and heavy footsteps accompanying it. 

In the blurriness of the hallway, one person ( _monster, thing, murderer, they called him, but Ben knew him to be the last thing tied to his dearest friend. Ben knew him as someone who had once been his brother, his ** ~~Anakin~~**_ ) was clear, their image sharp. They were covered in black, looking more machine than man. In their hand was a crimson lightsaber. 

Vader stopped just in front of him, and Ben’s eyes filled with tears as he looked upon the Sith… as he looked upon ~~**Anakin**~~ ( _no, not him, this is not your brother, your brother is gone_ ) and then he was ripped away from the vision. 

*** 

Ben awoke in his hut, his joints aching and his cheeks wet ( _was he crying? He thought he had run out of tears years ago_ ). The sun was setting, just as it had been when he left. 

_Did he actually leave?_

_That was impossible, he couldn’t have._

_But he wished he did._

***

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I don’t have a point for why the Force did that, other than… hurt™. 
> 
> anyways: hello again! i know this one isn't really my best work, but it was cool to write so... i posted it anyway lol :)
> 
> come scream with me about star wars and other fandoms on tumblr! my user is @ayo-cowbelly


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